Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
