Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
