I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize