i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
