are you so shy because you have an std?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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