So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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