totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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