i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
