I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize