His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
