at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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