oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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