oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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