What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
