Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
