Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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