I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize