You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
