Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
