that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
