Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
