i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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