I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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