your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
