I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize