what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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