your room smells of hookers.
And success
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
