It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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