Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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