oh god the rape fog is back!
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
