So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
