If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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