I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
