I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
