clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
