I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
