I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
