I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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