we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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