How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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