Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
