Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
that is very illegal...i love you.
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