there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize