Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
