Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
