fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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