Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Redeem this text for a blowjob
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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