I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
