I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
NoShamevember. You game?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
