you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
