That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My dick has a subreddit
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
