Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
