and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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