After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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