6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Sorry about my life...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
