ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
