So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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