So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
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