and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
