My brain says no but my pants say off.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Randomize
