"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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